Sunday, June 28, 2009

CRICKET: As explained to a foreigner....

You have two sides, one out in the field and one on in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of game.


* An American had been to go to a cricket match while he was in England. He watched with pleasure as the team came out and the batsmanscored four runs off the six balls. then the umpire called "OVER". "Well", he said, getting up, "It's a nice game-but it's too short."

Funny Short Forms of IT Companies

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS: Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS: Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES: Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN: Beggars Association And Nerds

8. IBM: Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM: Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM: Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT: Coffee During Office Timings

12. CMC: Coffee, Meals and Comfort

13. DELL: Deplorable Equipment & lacklusters

14. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms of India.

15. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

heights of sophistication

This has to be heights of sophistication (Visual Joke)

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Heights of sophistication

Akbar and Salim

Shahenshah Akbar finds out about Salim's affair with Anarkali. In grave anger, he calls for his son, his voice thundering through the halls of the palace....

Akbar: "Salim! Idhar Aao"

Salim: "Jee Jahaan-Panaah"

Akbar: "Salim!!! tum ne do paise ki choot ke liye mughal sultanat ki maa chodh di...."

Salim...now obviously equally angry replies: "Jahaan-panaah..Kya hum ne aap ka thaanaa??? Agar aap ka Lund lund...to kya humara lund rataalu??? Humara lund jo ho khadaa...to kya aap ki gaand mein daaloo???"

Akbar disgusted with his son, complains to his wife..Jodhabai: "Maharani Jodha...kya hum ne aapko is din ke liye chodha...ki humari aulaad, humari gand mein ungali kare, aur usme se bagaawat ki boo aaye."

Maharani Jodha gets all worked up and angry and orders: "Sipaahiyoon, Salim ko jhaaton ki Zanjeeron mein jakad lo, aur Anarkali ki baudi mein daal do."

Monday, September 29, 2008

After the monica lewinsky case.......

Pamela.a.lee: If I was hillary I would have divorced bill

Bill clinton: If hillary was pamela this would not have happened.

Story of SANTA and BANTA

Once Santa and Banta both were beaten badly and were lying on the hospital beds..here is the conversation between them.

SANTA: oye Banta what happened with you?
BANTA: Yaar I was coming in the bus, with a packet of photographs in my hand, suddenly the packet fell downand I started to recollect the photographs.

SANTA: then what happened?
BANTA: One photo was lying under a woman, I said mam will u please lift your skirt I have to take a photograph, and the whole crowd beat me cruely.

BANTA: But what happened with you?
SANTA: One day when I was on a tour, I lost my whole money so I requested a man to let me stay for the night in his house, but he refused saying that "I have got one grown up daughter so i'm sorry", then I asked another man he also refused saying that " I have got two grown up daughters so i'm sorry", then I knocked the third door and asked "sir do you have any grown up daughter, I have to stay for the night".

Heaven Or Hell Which Is Better?

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope was sent to hell.

The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error.

The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stop to chat.

Pope: Sorry about the mix up.

President Clinton: No problem.

Pope: Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven.

President Clinton: Why's that?

Pope: All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.

President Clinton: You're a day late.