1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS: Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS: Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES: Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN: Beggars Association And Nerds
8. IBM: Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM: Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM: Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT: Coffee During Office Timings
12. CMC: Coffee, Meals and Comfort
13. DELL: Deplorable Equipment & lacklusters
14. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms of India.
15. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
Showing posts with label Computers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Computers. Show all posts
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Office Terminology for the New Millennium
ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa.
CLM -Career Limiting Move: Used to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
GOOD JOB: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generator running.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa.
CLM -Career Limiting Move: Used to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
GOOD JOB: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generator running.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs: (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Just Imagine......
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The Logon Screen
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The Start Menu
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Windows Famous Error Messages
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The Shutdown screen!
Gender Of Computer
A college professor, who was previously a sailor, was very aware that ships are addressed as "she" and "her." He often wondered what gender computers should be addressed.
To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
* In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
* They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
* They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
* As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
* No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
* The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
* Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
* As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
To answer that question, he set up two groups of computer experts. The first was comprised of women, and the second of men. Each group was asked to recommend whether computers should be referred to in the feminine gender, or the masculine gender. They were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women reported that the computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
* In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
* They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
* They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
* As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:
* No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
* The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
* Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
* As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
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